Gabe Rosen's guest post #1
This is a guest post by Gabe Rosen.
One thing that really gets my goat is when people have no perspective whatsoever on life, as evidenced by the flagrant misuse of certain words - viz. "poor" and "prison". A certain acquaintance of mine, who has inspired numerous previous posts, keeps a box in his car in which to deposit coins for charity. A noble end, you say. I noticed the box, and commended him on it, and he launched into a santimonious tirade about how the Good Book mandated giving to charity, and how he gave despite being "as poor as a churchmouse". This while riding in his somewhat used SUV to a sushi restaurant! Folks, being on some form of financial aid does not make you "poor". Also, I recently heard a girl who had moved off-campus describe living on campus as a "prison". Anyone out there ever visited a prison? How about watched an episode of "Law and Order"?
On the other side of the scales, I believe we should demand certain things in their proper context. This is why I chafe when a sit-down restaurant, where I am presumably paying for more than fast food, offers only a 1/4 lb burger. Especially if they have the nerve to call it "deluxe".
Everyone who has gone camping (and believe me, Ramit knows camping - ask him about the Big Sur trip in the summer of 2002) has seen this one: You move around the campfire to avoid the smoke, and it follows you everywhere you go, within a second of moving there. It really is out to get you.
People who are painfully insecure and laugh nervously at the end of their own sentences. I swear, I have one friend who does this after every single obvious statement he makes, and what's more, it's not even a normal laugh, but a "huh-huh" - like he's Beavis & Butthead! Several times lately I have been within one box of Franzia of beating him upside the head the next time I hear "huh-huh".
One thing that really gets my goat is when people have no perspective whatsoever on life, as evidenced by the flagrant misuse of certain words - viz. "poor" and "prison". A certain acquaintance of mine, who has inspired numerous previous posts, keeps a box in his car in which to deposit coins for charity. A noble end, you say. I noticed the box, and commended him on it, and he launched into a santimonious tirade about how the Good Book mandated giving to charity, and how he gave despite being "as poor as a churchmouse". This while riding in his somewhat used SUV to a sushi restaurant! Folks, being on some form of financial aid does not make you "poor". Also, I recently heard a girl who had moved off-campus describe living on campus as a "prison". Anyone out there ever visited a prison? How about watched an episode of "Law and Order"?
On the other side of the scales, I believe we should demand certain things in their proper context. This is why I chafe when a sit-down restaurant, where I am presumably paying for more than fast food, offers only a 1/4 lb burger. Especially if they have the nerve to call it "deluxe".
Everyone who has gone camping (and believe me, Ramit knows camping - ask him about the Big Sur trip in the summer of 2002) has seen this one: You move around the campfire to avoid the smoke, and it follows you everywhere you go, within a second of moving there. It really is out to get you.
People who are painfully insecure and laugh nervously at the end of their own sentences. I swear, I have one friend who does this after every single obvious statement he makes, and what's more, it's not even a normal laugh, but a "huh-huh" - like he's Beavis & Butthead! Several times lately I have been within one box of Franzia of beating him upside the head the next time I hear "huh-huh".
6 Comments:
love you gabe, sexually. i hate when people reply all instead of just reply. seriously thanks for letting me see your resume and your home phone # retard:)
- when you think to yourself "huh, that cupboard is open, i should shut it" and then 10 seconds later you stand up and hit your head on the door in the EXACT SAME SPOT you have hit it 48 times before, but it's worse because you knew it was going to happen and it happened anyway
- how guys go to vegas and assume it's going to be some awesomely mindblowing time full of hot off-duty strippers and winning wads of cash at the craps table and being "high rollers" and "it'll be just like the beginning of Swingers" and whatever. these guys always end up barfing on the street and hanging out alone w/each other by the pool, looking bloated and untouchable
- how girls' pants are only made for short girls, despite "beauty culture" using emaciated ladies who are tall like myself. hey: make the pants long and then shorties can just HEM THEM, since i can't very well shit out an extra 4 inches of cloth. MY ANKLES ARE FREEZING PEOPLE
-when my mom tries to instigate shit between my sister and me. i'm in california, my sister's in london. HOW ABOUT YOU FOSTER SOME INTERNATIONAL GOODWILL mom, seriously, god
People who use the expression get my goat really do get my goat.
What does get my goat mean?
"Get my goat" means get the better of me; get me mad. It's not one I'm fond of, but when something is stupid enough, it destroys my will to use a better expression or invent my own.
This site is based on the entire ethos of "goat getting"
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