Recoil
Guys who seriously think that girls are really just gold-diggers and are actually after their money. Now I agree, it's fun to joke about, but th ere are REALLY guys who think this for real. I think it's a nice excuse for why these guys can't find a girl who's legitimately interested in them. But of course it can't be due to your personality, can it? It must be that they're all gold-diggers. On the off chance that you actually DO attract gold-diggers, you are sending out some seriously messed-up signals. Perhaps blurting out that you drive a BMW while rubbing your Cartier watching within 15 SECONDS of meeting a girl is not the best strategy?
When you wear a white dress shirt, praying that you will not go out to lunch, but are of course invited out to Italian food, where you spill a huge glob of red sauce on your shirt. Too personal of a story?
People who get promoted into positions of power and begin speaking in typoical BS, cover-your-ass language. Everyone has met people like this, and you always wonder if they were ever young (or fun). They're the people who say things like "Well, even if that were possible, it's not how things are done." They love using the word regulations, and they love bureaucracy. And I hate them. I know a bunch of people, even CEOs, who have risen to the top and still keep it real--they tell it like it is, instead of being machine-like automatons. PLEASE BE REAL HUMAN BEINGS AS YOU CONTINUE IN YOUR CAREERS
Organic foods, which are more expensive, go rotten faster, and have a fundamental prommise ("they're better for you!" that is far from conclusive, or even close to it. There is a nice strawberry patch near my house and I bought strawberries there a while ago. THOSE DAMN THINGS WENT BAD IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS!!! And finally, I don't need to prove that I am a good person by buying organic and smirking at others eating Cheez Its. No thanks, organic foods.
People who think they'll make it big once they find that one big idea. I've written about this in detail: The Myth of the Great Idea
Parents who make their kids take Chinese because "it's the language of the future." You know what--I know people at Stanford who do this of their own free will, too, so let me not just blame the parents. This is so absurd. It's like putting one of those propeller hats on a submarine because you think it will improve its speed. If you are worried about competing in the global economy, try to get good at what you do and meet people. DON'T TRY TO LEARN A LANGUAGE OF A CULTURE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND JUST SO THAT YOU CAN TALK TO "THOSE PEOPLE" ON ONE HYPOTHETICAL DAY. GOD DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!?
Post-hoc analyses of written works that are completely WRONG, yet sound sophisticated enough to pass muster and even sound insightful. I've written things where people analyzed my work, saying it took an amazingly sophisticated postmodern look at viral-marketing techniques. I don't even know what post-modern means!!! Ok, the whole last part about people ever reading my stuff is a lie, but you know what I mean.
When you wear a white dress shirt, praying that you will not go out to lunch, but are of course invited out to Italian food, where you spill a huge glob of red sauce on your shirt. Too personal of a story?
People who get promoted into positions of power and begin speaking in typoical BS, cover-your-ass language. Everyone has met people like this, and you always wonder if they were ever young (or fun). They're the people who say things like "Well, even if that were possible, it's not how things are done." They love using the word regulations, and they love bureaucracy. And I hate them. I know a bunch of people, even CEOs, who have risen to the top and still keep it real--they tell it like it is, instead of being machine-like automatons. PLEASE BE REAL HUMAN BEINGS AS YOU CONTINUE IN YOUR CAREERS
Organic foods, which are more expensive, go rotten faster, and have a fundamental prommise ("they're better for you!" that is far from conclusive, or even close to it. There is a nice strawberry patch near my house and I bought strawberries there a while ago. THOSE DAMN THINGS WENT BAD IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS!!! And finally, I don't need to prove that I am a good person by buying organic and smirking at others eating Cheez Its. No thanks, organic foods.
People who think they'll make it big once they find that one big idea. I've written about this in detail: The Myth of the Great Idea
Parents who make their kids take Chinese because "it's the language of the future." You know what--I know people at Stanford who do this of their own free will, too, so let me not just blame the parents. This is so absurd. It's like putting one of those propeller hats on a submarine because you think it will improve its speed. If you are worried about competing in the global economy, try to get good at what you do and meet people. DON'T TRY TO LEARN A LANGUAGE OF A CULTURE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND JUST SO THAT YOU CAN TALK TO "THOSE PEOPLE" ON ONE HYPOTHETICAL DAY. GOD DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!?
Post-hoc analyses of written works that are completely WRONG, yet sound sophisticated enough to pass muster and even sound insightful. I've written things where people analyzed my work, saying it took an amazingly sophisticated postmodern look at viral-marketing techniques. I don't even know what post-modern means!!! Ok, the whole last part about people ever reading my stuff is a lie, but you know what I mean.
10 Comments:
This will be a long comment, possibly as long as the original post, but I'm mad as hell and I'm not holding it in any longer. In the words of Al Bundy, "Let's rock."
Significant others of musicians who cannot stop promoting them and fashion entire identities around their relationship. I saw this on a Facebook profile. "Favorite Music: Tom Petty and _____. Guess which one I'm currently sleeping with?" Good for you. Now gimme a bag to barf in.
People with more than adequate good complaining about how genetics have deprived them. I'm talking about girls with C's or bigger complaining that their breasts are too small, guys who are six feet complaining that they're too short, etc. Hey, Mr. Pitiful. Try playing competitive football at 5'7", then we'll talk. Jerkoff.
Dr. Phil. Apart from the fact that he is an amateurish pop psychologist who got rich by telling undersexed middle-aged housewives what they wanted to hear, he is now the subject of some controversy with disgruntled customers who said his weight-loss plan didn't work. To those customers, however, I have this to say: THE JOKE IS ON YOU FOR BUYING WEIGHT LOSS GUIDES FROM A BIG FAT GUY. (I also hate people who make moronic decisions and then feel victimized).
When people appear to be active on AIM but are actually away, and have a message set up that can't be seen ahead of time.
Styrofoam coolers. They are impossible to wipe clean, break easily, and make horrendous noises when scratched. I had to use one recently for fishing. Let me tell you, folks, that cleaning fish guts out of porous styrofoam is a shitty Saturday evening.
Being grilled for not inviting someone somewhere, especially when it wasn't your place to do so. I had a "friend" tell me I "lied to him" because I didn't invite him on a day trip with another friend - and his family! Even if this were appropriate, it's the people organziing the trip who are in charge of invites - but he wouldn't dare question them, so I get to be the whipping boy. GUESS WHAT: NOT EVERYONE GETS TO BE INVITED EVERYWHERE.
These days, it seems the word "as" has replaced "because". This makes you sound like a precious little twit. Example: "I will not be at the meeting Tuesday, as I will be recovering from electrolysis of the perineum."
The super-pain-sensitive skin under your fingernails. I got a cut here from a nametag pin, and boy, does it hurt. It would be much better to have a cap on your finger than a nail, to protect against cuts. So much for "intelligent design", Kansas.
If I have to choose from a voicemail menu to begin with, why should it take eight rings to get me there?
Nachos that are served on a tiny plate so you basically have ten real nachos on top of a stack of plain chips.
Also, those movie-style nachos with the plastic "cheese" dip. Horrible.
Saran wrap. I used to make an effort to cut it from the roll in a way that would prevent it from all clinging together into a little pile, but now I've just accepted that the untangling phase is unavoidable.
I'm slowly compiling a list of traffic hatreds, and this is one that's been happening a lot lately: When someone actually uses their turn signal when approaching an intersection and then the genius SUV driver behind them decides to speed up and pass them in the turn lane. THIS IS A GOOD WAY TO KILL PEOPLE.
Actually, the fundamental promise of organic foods is not that they are necessarily better for you, but that their production doesn't degrade the environment in the same way that the production of conventionally foods does.
For example, by not using toxic pesticides, organic farmers reduce groundwater pollution.
people who don't understand the arms length radius policy. i.e when interacting with a person, they get too close to you to the point where you can feel their hot breath. triple hatred if it stinks! ugh!!! Straight to the electric chair for these @ssholes!!!
Over a month since an update? I hope you're not turning soft on us and actually starting to like things...
I am in withdrawal of hatred.
I hate being in withdrawal.
RAMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we need more haterations! this site kept me going. My river of confort seems to be running dry and I'm slowly starving to death! DOUBLE HATRED TO YOU FOR TURNING ME ON AND THEN DROPPING ME LIKE THIS WITHOUT NOTICE!
Update your blog, you jackass. Right now all I'm hating is YOU.
OK I think we should start a "IhateRamit" blog. UGGHHHHHHHH!!!! Ramit! we miss you! come on..give us a little of that hateration we've come to love and get used to. everyone wants it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In an effort to lure ramit out of hiding I'm finally posting on his site. I'm finding it difficult to think of anything I really hate since I finally got a chance to chat with the guru himself, so here are the Things I Love: 2005 Christmas Edition. Taco bell, strong coffee, the feeling of being back in my own bed after travelling, snickers icecream bars, high heels, angelina jolie. God how I love you, angelina jolie. Thank you for Gia. Board games, macs and the whole apple company. Oreos, sushi, chunky peanut butter and talking to myself. Things I hate... how everyone in LA says that everyone else is fake. ingrown toenails. I hate that I love fashion magazines because they all make me think that I am too short too fat and too poor, none of which are the case. I hate how everyone want a massage and noone wants to reciprocate. People who whine, which brings me back to you people. Stop your bitching and moaning and post more things you hate instead of talking crap. Or at least make it entertaining for the rest of us voyeurs who hate to post. Ok I think thats it, oh yeah Ramit sethi is one sexy bitch. fatfish out.
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