Monday, December 12, 2005


Anybody who starts an essay by defining a term. How many juvenile essays have you seen that begin like this? "Webster's defines impropriety as blah blah this essay will be read by no one because I am a horribly boring writer." Why not just announce that you are a moron in the title of your paper? WE ALL SPEAK ENGLISH AND DON'T NEED A DEFINITION IN THE MOST IMPORTANT REAL ESTATE OF A PAPER--THE FIRST SENTENCE. The best part about making this observation is that the people who write like this (and would therefore be the most offended) simply lack the faculties to write back to me and complain. I win!!!

The unbearably little amount of cheese in the regular (not supreme) Taco Bell nachos. WHY!!! Taco Bell, I have sung your praises for so long!!!

Closing after the sale. This is when someone GETS what they want, but continue to argue for it. The other day, I was eating at an Italian restaurant with a bunch of friends, and the waiter was one of those idiots who talks and talks and everyone wants him to leave. Unfortunately, the person who was in charge of coordinating the dinner was the kind of guy who can't lay it down and tell someone to shut up, so our ENTIRE table was subjected to the most horrendous type of monologue imaginable. Finally, when the guy placed the order (THIS WAS OVER 5 MINUTES AFTER THE WAITER CAME, I KID YOU NOT), the waiter CONTINUED saying why this was a good choice, why it was the softest pasta on the menu, etc. WE ALREADY PLACED THE ORDER. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SELL ANYMORE. PLEASE LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Closing after the sale is also a cardinal sin for salesmen. Watch for it next time you're out and please just stop the people and tell them what they're doing. Collectively we can begin shaming these people into stopping talking.

Stupid companies that don't list their prices on their site. Yes, I understand how enterprise software/hardware works, but that doesn't mean I won't single you out and mock you. I worked at an enterprise company and the dirty secret is that--even though there are list prices (which procurement officers have to dig up, explaining why they're so astronomically high)--they are routinely sold for for 50% off, 70% off, or even 90% off. I guess I understand why there are no prices on the Web site. They might as well put "WHO KNOWS!?!?!" on it.

Girls who overestimate how hot it is to see them making out with another girl. I cannot count the number of times some girls want something and say something like "Are you surrrrre you don't want to hang out? Who knows what will happen?" (wink, hugs her female friend). Ok. First of all, stop teasing because I have known you since 2nd grade and nothing is going to happen. Second, KISSING ANOTHER GIRL IS NOT AS HOT AS IT USED TO BE. Thank god the Internet has disintermediated your power. Actually, it's kind of sad to see the vestiges of something that may have worked 4 years ago (you offering to maybe kissanother girl) still struggling to exert influence. Incidentally, let me explicitly say that I am not opposed to this. Just don't taunt me with it.

ANYBODY who points at the stars and says "Can you see that? It's the [some astronomical term.] I genuinely believe that literally everyone who says this is lying. YES!!! YOU ARE LYING!!! NOBODY CAN TELL WHAT THOSE STARS ARE!!! And the most amusing part of this is standing next to other people who nod like lemmings and say "Oh yeah.....I think I can see it!!" Can you also see me stealing your wallet?


Blogger Nataleesthot said...

Hatred to everyone who notices a thing or two about a person and proceeds to jump to wild conclusions.
Case in point:
Last week I go to Hollywood video wearing my new multi-colored(or at least I thought) scarf. I've recently gotten into watching the L-word and the old perv behind the counter looks at me and says "hello, pretty lady" then takes the movies that I hand to him and looks uncomfortable and adds.."in the rainbow colored scarf" Then to add salt to injury he whispers "I hope I'm not embarrasing you, I'm I?" I MEAN WTF??? Now I feel Gay everytime I walk into Hollywood video.
How incriminating??

6:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i knew the big dipper was a farce!



1:26 PM  
Anonymous alta said...

It isn't false advertising or anything, but you are a particularly unpleasant person. Oh and petty. I look forward to the day when average joe you is just out doing your job or talking to someone and they tell you what a colossal waste of air your breath is. Please... continue... I am listening...

1:34 PM  
Blogger Nataleesthot said...

Alta. I wasn't sure weather you were referring to me....Are ya?

1:37 PM  
Blogger Ramit Sethi said...

Always good to have a dedicated new reader

1:37 PM  
Blogger Gabe Rosen said...

Why is it that every dot-com company today has to have a compound word for a name? WebPower, HotJobs, GreekSalad - what is so wrong with a two-word name? Maybe this isn't a hatred yet, but give me time.

When you call a company hoping to find someone in the directory and it's completely impossible. Hall of Shame status goes to IBM, whose silicon valley office line just says "enter the 5 digit extension of the person you wish to reach" - no menu, nothing. What a bunch of pricks. And keep in mind, they don't know that I'm calling in order to steal their employees away.

When people don't update their email addresses/profiles to reflect the present. How many times have I tried to email someone, gone to their facebook page, and I see the address that expired 30 days after they graduated in 2004?

When people write "fucken" or "frikken". These words are not that hard to spell when you think about it.

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you can't see constellations, you got problems...

8:24 PM  
Blogger phatfish350 said...

problems? Or more productive things to do????

1:38 AM  
Anonymous gnomemafia said...

You should update more often. I love your site.

1:03 PM  
Anonymous gnomemafia said...

Oh, and the guy who thinks you should have more productive things to do actually took the time to comment and try to put you down. It's like this:
"Things I hate...people who make websites devoted to things they hate, but despite my hatred, I will still take the time to post comments about how much I hate it! Aren't I productive!"

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Rory said...

Point, set, and match.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Liron Shapira said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous slavegirl said...

Perfect example of someone who deserves my wrath: People that leave a 10 minute long voicemail for me to check and there's no way to really forward through because you don't know WHERE in the message they leave it, thus leaving you hostage to thier message. I end up deleting it.

Checkout my new blog, Rants on the VC world through the eyes of an assistant

1:34 PM  
Blogger Ramit Sethi said...

I love the SandHillSlave blog!

Hey, write me a private email and let me know a little bit more about it:

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Family members (non-immediate) who always rag on you, whether for school choice, weight, career goals, etc.. Then ask why you don't come to more family functions.

People who ask me to borrow software I've paid for so they can rip it off. This isn't even about me being cheap and getting annoyed at the fact that they want something from me that I've paid for. If I buy software, it's because I believe the company deserves it. If I lend it to you to rip off, then I'm basically taking back that claim.

People who spell MS, M$.

People who live through their school's accomplishments. Apparently it doesn't matter if you do absolutely nothing, and just swing by with a C, as long as your school is doing good, so are you. My cousins are the worst for this. First time I see them in over 6 months, what do they tell me. "My school scored first in MacLeans. And we did this and that and this, blah, blah, blah". Apparently apart from studying, and drinking these people do nothing. What's going to happen to these people in a few years when they graduate with nothing more than a degree?

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know you already mentioned sports analogies. I just hate it when people talk about sports in general. Even worse is when they act like your some sort of green pile of goo when you say you don't actually watch hockey/football/whatever.. "Oh, you don't watch XXX..." It's my belief that many people watch sports purely because they have nothing interesting to say. Sports give them something to talk to each other about. I've seen people sit their and discuss a 48min. game of basketball for 3 days non-stop during break and lunch.

Burned CDs without labels. I hate grabbing the pile of CDs in my car to find half of them are unlabeled!

Spelling the plural of an acronym. Is it CDs?

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need an editor.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

Hey Ramit, some teenagers are debating whether or not your shirt is cool.

11:13 PM  
Blogger Ramit Sethi said...


I would have never known about this. Thanks for letting me know, Nicole. Also, thanks for the post about me on Bolt!

11:31 PM  
Blogger Macro Jim said...

Can I add -- People that forward you the forwarded message. Hence, if you're the fourth of fifth person to receive the email, you have to click on like 4 or more attachments. Didn't the person before you have to do the same? Why didn't he just forward the picture instead of closing all the open windows and THEN forwarding the message to you!

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You started liking everything around you now?

11:15 PM  
Blogger blaironaleash said...

"ANYBODY who points at the stars and says "Can you see that? It's the [some astronomical term.] I genuinely believe that literally everyone who says this is lying. YES!!! YOU ARE LYING!!! NOBODY CAN TELL WHAT THOSE STARS ARE!!!"

That was funny. It never occurred to me to disbelieve those people. Now I feel gullible and used.

What I hate: people who are as smart as I used to be before age and panic attacks set in.

12:07 PM  
Blogger Loony2nz said...

I hate it when the menu reads: Baked Lasagna. DUH!! HOW ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT!!??

2:36 PM  
Blogger Loony2nz said...

I hate the obvious road signs on the streets. Living in San Francisco, I get the urge to get a can of spray paint and write "NO SHIT" under the words "HILL" on every yellow diamond sign I see. Argh! Who is that sign for? Can you be that obtuse?

2:38 PM  
Blogger Neeraj "Richie" Banerji said...

Ramit, what the schmuck. I'm gonna take this off my RSS aggregator if you don't update it. I need my hate fix man!

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the guy who said "you need an editor." By the way, you are not intelligent enough to hate on people. Sometimes the things we hate about "others" is a reflection of our own insecurities. But, most importantly, learn grammar and punctuation!

8:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 8:11, could you be dumber? In a post criticizing Ramit for bad grammar, you wrote, "Sometimes the things we hate about 'others' is a reflection of our own insecurities." Has it escaped you that "things" is plural and "is" is singular? In case you didn't realize (and I'm guessing you indeed did not), that was a rhetorical question.

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You shouldn't be too quick to discredit starting essays with a definition. Let me quote an article by Brzezinski in Foriegn Affairs Magazine

Karl von Clausewitz defined war as the coniuation of policy by other means. By extension the Cold War can be defined as warfare by othe (non-leathal) means. Nonetheless, warefare it was.

This is certainly not a waste of real estate. In fact, it serves as a n effective introduction

12:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need more guest posting.
- Shavonese
"Its better to let someone think your an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it"

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